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Well I have reached the end of the opening part of the tour. Fort Kochi and Kerala has given me a little sense of India and I believe prepared me a sample for what I am about to receive in the North.

Breakfast chick pea curry and then an iPad solution session with the French. Papa has this time brought with him english speaking daughter ‘Nicole’. In short I fixed their problem and they were happy. I think I will have a Rue named in my honour. Funny how WiFi is as critical as Water nowadays.

The last day started with a complimentary foot massage at the Hotel’s Spa which had the sensation of basting a couple of chicken wings. It was good, but I did get the feeling that moving into the sun would produce a bit of Kerala Fried Chicken. However as this was the last day of the chill phase I thought I should invest in the whole chicken for a bit of TLC rather than KFC. I returned to get my body and head oiled, slapped and prodded. As the masseur got to my neck and shoulders I knew we would find it hard to ‘relax’ my muscles. I could sense the fingers clenching to knuckles as he tried to soften up my shoulders. He must have been thinking to himself that it may be the first day of spring, but this ain’t no spring chicken, more like a frozen Chicken that has been in the freezer for 2 years. Admit it we all have one of those tucked away somewhere. He did his best, but I did see defeat in his face as I bid him farewell and stepped out of his serene studio. His caution was not to do anything strenuous for a bit…fat chance of that I thought.

It was early afternoon by now and the temperature was up a notch. Time to update my blog and take a few of the final pictures like my room and the door etc. As I started to type I heard a soft thud a bit like someone punching a feather pillow. I knew what it was, the Indian Navy gun next door? The thud rang out half a dozen times. Well at least I had been part of it. A bit wrong. The tiny thud was from a patrol ship miles offshore. The responding salute went back…BOOM!!!! the whole Hotel shook, the floor, the windows, vases moved. I ran out onto the landing to get a better view. Another 5 shells were let off in quick succession. Each producing a plume of thick white smoke. Absolutely deafening. Now I think that would draw more attention to their rickety boundary line on a Saturday instead of the soldier with a whistle and a stick. Downside is it would probably leave more Flip Flops on the beach.

A late snack for lunch, a beer and lounging round the pool finished my afternoon off and I went back to my room to perch myself on the balcony for a last photo of the sun going down.

Dinner entree wasn’t anything special today. I ordered some kind type of whole spicy fish (Karimeen Pollichathu) wrapped in a banana leave and a couple of chapati’s. I thought that it was going to be the same fish steak that Chef had made on the first evening, but that’s not what I ordered. The restaurant was fairly empty tonight as a lot of guests had left, so the bengali waiter Suresh tried in vain to give me an unprompted précis of 300 years of Indian struggle against the British, classroom style. As a Bengali, who is still picking up his english some words didn’t translate, but in my usual politeness I nodded, agreed and sighed showing support. At the end of his story he caught me out a treat…”So what do you think?” Luckily my response was interrupted by some incoming guests just as I was going to talk some bull’ over previous generations and social classes. He didn’t come back except to bring my meal.

As for my fish, no blame here as the same thing has happened at home in our restaurants, but some fish go through ten rounds before they arrive in the kitchen and this one had broken bones all over the place (no pun intended).

Thinking of yesterday’s trip to the Backwater, I couldn’t leave without having another pudding dish called Maduram Chertha Nentharakaya. Which was grilled Banana with a rich sweet coconut, cardamon and syrup gritty topping with Ice Cream. I had room for two puddings but etiquette kicked in.

So I travel up North to Delhi tomorrow and the next chapter.