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After the mellow introduction to Australia through Perth, I headed out to Alice Springs on a Qantas Flight to the centre of the Country, The Red Centre. It gets its name after the colour of the rock which in the sunshine turns the iron oxide deposits bright red.

After a short flight of about 3 hours we touched down in Alice Springs Airport, a very sleepy backwater compared to the Airports that I had visited so far. The plane turned right off the runway and was immediately at the terminal. Thinking about it, it was a bit like Kochi airport in India, but set in a desert. We piled off the plane onto the tarmac and walked 100 yards into the Arrivals Terminal. One thing I noticed as we landed was that there were no perimeter fences to the Airport. It sort of went, Desert, Desert, Airport! No major greetings of security and a single luggage belt soon brought in my bag. I phoned the Hotel and had one of those nice simple intimate discussions. “Hi I am stopping with you, do you have a Curtesy Bus to the Hotel or should I get a Taxi?”. Response, “where are you standing?”. “By the luggage belt”. “Turn around and face the Exit. You see the bus outside with a band around it?, that’s it! And see the guy standing in the corner to your right ? (20 yards away) buy a ticket from him and then get on the bus”. It was Oh so easy and you sensed a small provincial approach. I was expecting her to say ‘tell Dad I’ll be late home for tea’. If Skippy the Bush Kangaroo had to to be re-launched, Old Man McGregor would fall down his Well in this sort of place.

The Airport Bus made a quick meander around a few hotels and then dropped me at the Chifly Alice Springs Resort. Alice is a little Oasis of just 25,000 people. 1500 Kilometres from Darwin at the top of Oz and 1500 Kilometres from Adelaide at the bottom to the south. And unlike Dorothy’s route to see the Wizard, you would need to ‘Follow the Red Brick Road’ in any direction out of Alice Springs. I read a note to guests in the introduction to the hotel that said, “make sure you fill up your car before leaving Alice Springs!” Over the next 2 days I would understand why they say that.

The Resort itself reminded me of an American holiday resort from the 50’s that you might see in a movie. Not sure if people come here for the same experience, but there were many groups of people who were on some kind of tour, mostly locals (i.e. within 1000 Kilometres). The rooms reminded me of a US Motel. The sort of place that you would have seen in the movie ‘No Country for Old Men”. But very unlike its upmarket Hotel cousins on the Coast it had good WiFi. I had an easy evening and tried out the Hotel’s restaurant where I had a T bone steak that was the most beautifully cooked piece of meat that I have had for many years. I was tempted by the Fish dishes, Barramundi Fillet, Barramundi with Buerre Blanc, Spicy Barramundi…but guessed that it was unlikely that Barry the Fish could be caught locally without the presence of a lot of water, so gave it a miss. I also hopped over the Kangaroo option for another day. It was to be an early night tonight as the tour bus was to pick me up at 6am and I also needed to decant my large travel bag into something smaller as the tour had a weight limit which was well under half that I have been travelling with.

My tour guide appeared on cue and I joined our mini coach and trailer that was going to be like a second home for the next 3 days, under the mentoring of Mel and Jerry of ‘Adventure Tours’. The bus made its stops to top up the Tourists to a total of 14. Mel doing here fourth ‘maiden’ tour to Uluru was being herself mentored by Jerry as the seasoned guide, but as we would find out it was a continuous relay of inputs that made the trip memorable and enjoyable. With all people accounted for we were off and we soon got a sense of Jerry’s infectious personality which she stamps on a road trip. If we thought we were still snoozing at 6.00am, by 6.10am Jerry’s whooping introduction meant that you were clearly and firmly awake.

Let me introduce the rest of the group, so you get a feel for our make up. It is easier to remember them in seat order from left to right and from back to front. This was made very easy for me by Jerry having everyone do a quick introduction on a headset speaker as we were travelling along. I think the questions were, Name, Age, A bit about yourself, What is your favourite colour, your favourite food, the colour of the underwear that you were wearing and a funny story. This was a great icebreaker and killed a bit of the time of the very long drive out to the ‘Rocks’.

So we had Aki from Japan, who was working in a Sandwich Shop in Sydney but by trade was a Nurse back in Tokyo. Maximillian, “Max for short” who was German. Erme and Martin from Innsbruck in Austria (who were a little bit younger than myself), Lenka and her Mum Dana (who was my age) from the Czech Republic. I put the age thing in so you get a feel for the split of ages which were very young to healthily mature like myself.

Next there were a lovey-dovey couple in Alex and Melanie (a second one) from Germany who I think were in their 30’s. Hannah a young student from Kiel in Germany who had a cold for the complete trip. Samia a young French-Algerian student from Lille in France. Anna a young student from Italy, but so close to the Austrian border that she spoke German and last but not least Gemma and her partner Scott in their mid and late twenties who were from South Manchester but both have been working in Sydney.

As the trip went on we would see these great personalities come through and the group gelled well with each other and with Mel and Jerry.

My introduction included the Red Boss briefs and the being left at the Great Wall of China which I was looking not to repeat. It was a fun exercise.

Now my order of events in each day may not be chronologically correct as I didn’t take a single note on the trip, so bare with me on the facts. The photo’s help to piece together events, but one Red Rock photo tends to blend into another, but looking at them I think I know how I was feeling and whether I was hot, cold, thirsty, hungry, inquisitive, tired, completely knackered or awe inspired. Put this together with a hundred moments of laughter as a group and the story is complete.

One of the regular parts of the tour was the Pits stop which didn’t really need a ‘T’, but allowed the occasional topping up of water or the opposite.

So first there was the Camel Farm. This was a Pit stop and an opportunity to jump onto a Camel for a ride. Yes I tried it and can now understand what childbirth is about. I have the highest respect for Lawrence of Arabia. 4 and half hours of film was long enough but riding one of these for weeks across a desert would be a real @£$% ache! (Arse, Ball or Calf, you choose). The stop also had a small Wallaby enclosure, so at least I have seen a Kangaroo in Australia. This was my reserve experience as I still want to see one in the wild.

Jerry had a habit of shouting, rather enthusiastically, without notice when something of interest was about, so when the ‘Eagles’ Eagles, Eagles’ call was made, it shocked everyone to look, if like me, in the wrong direction. The Eagles were feeding on my first in the wild sighting of a large Kangeroo. Well that’s nature I guess. The following shout of ‘Dingo’s’ was a really good one, but I think the Dingo’s heard her, as we come to a quick stop and the pack high heeled and run off.

We pulled up for firewood foraging at the side of the road. Looking at the spindly trees that all looked as though they had been through a bush fire (more frequent and arranged than you would think, for the good), but we got on with finding some small and some rather large branches that were placed on the top of the trailer. I must admit that I had my eyes on every footstep to ensure something ‘snake-like’, ‘insect-like’, ‘poisonous-like’ didn’t forage on me. The exercise was very cathartic and you felt better for doing something yourself that would be used later in the day.

Another drive on and then “CAMEL!!” shouted Jerry, as there were 4 Feral Camels walking through to our right. Everyone got off the bus to go find them, but they were very quick footed. We would get another taste of Camel tomorrow.

We carried on to our campsite at Canyon Creek, for our jointly prepared sandwich stop for lunch. All well orchestrated and even the most basic of sandwiches tasted great. Not having seen the full itinerary, I didn’t know what to expect on the tour.

Next we were back on the bus for the ride off to Canyon Creek itself. The rocks were impressive, a bit like a Wild Western desert scene where John Wayne is in a shoot out with the bad guys. Well, no bad guys other than the heat, but two Sheriffs to guide us and coax us up to the top of the Canyon and the walk around. Walkings easy isn’t it? From the car park and after our safety talk of the do’s and don’ts we had an immediate climb of about 400 rock steps to the summit. I was feeling the effects of the heat after just 100 steps and quickly slipped back through the group. You need lots if water and lots of air into your body and I should have worn a lighter T shirt to get air round my body and had a lighter backpack. Other than those factors I was having a great time. The views were good and I didn’t waste any opportunity to capture them. The brightness of the rock in the sunshine and the back drop of blue sky and foreground of green trees and bushes made for some nice angles, so apologies for the number of photo’s. I culled at least 4 times this amount for the cut. When I got to the top, my second breath kicked in so I was fine for the rest of the walk. Going around it was so nice to have short conversations with most of the group and to have a laugh along the way. From their experiences which in some cases put my 3 and half months of trip into the shade, mostly backpackers, I gained more insight of Australia. I have found that people like different things and Australian towns can be revered or hated from one person to another. The short stories also brought out the personalities of the people and you would slowly see what made them tick or just converse. If they didn’t want to talk, I tried to respect that too.

We made a circular route down into the Canyon and then back up again to the opposite side before making a final descent to the car park. It wasn’t in the same scale as the Grand Canyon, but the sense of it being isolated from the vantage points was apparent.

I guess we got back to the Campsite and our pitch in the hills by about 6pm just as the sun was dipping. Chance for a shower to clean the orifices of the dust. The light was going down, but it should have been no excuse for walking into the ‘Female’ Door rather than the ‘Male’ door. I quickly corrected myself when I bumped into Hannah. My door was 10 feet away. As I entered what was like a small portacabin with a few sinks, 2 loos and 2 showers with soft curtains, both of the curtains came back at the top and two Monks (from Thailand) in tandem showed theirs faces and in unison, said hello! It was so funny to hear them but I remained respectful that they were monks in orange robes and needed me not to laugh. Returning to the campsite, the fire was well under way and the kitchen area was active with Mel preparing some hearty food. Spaghetti Bolognese, a Vegetable something a bit like a Ratatouille and Jerry prepared some campfire bread, which someone will have to remind me of what it was called. It was sweet, herby, garlicy and quite delicious. After this all I could think of was bed, but not before ‘The Box Game’. The one where you pick up an every decreasing cereal box in your teeth but you could not bend your legs or touch the ground. I declined on the basis that I didn’t think I could bend without passing out, but some excellent efforts from Alex, Anna, Erme and the final champion Aki, who had a very organised Japanese technique akin to bowing or as I commented, from years of practice of picking up chopsticks from the floor. Aki went on to demonstrate the art of Japanese courtesy bowing and her rendition of ‘Very Sorry’ which was the lowest right angled bow was hilarious. Aki understood western humour and the way that Japanese customs appear to the west. Put together with a very sharp wit and great use of the English language, Aki was a bundle of fun to be around.

It was time for the Swags to come out. Swags are all weather sleeping mats, which are thick tarpaulin covers that zip both sides but hold a 2 inch mattress. Together with a sleeping bag this was it. Sleeping under the stars around the camp fire. I think I was one of the first to drop off (I guess 2 minutes after my initial spin which is a common bed habit for me). I continued to wake up through the night and must have spun until our wake up call of 5.45am (it came too quickly). Breakfast cereals were out on the table and we had 30 minutes to eat, wash and get packed up.

We were on the road at first light with a very long drive ahead of us to Uluru.

The first contact of a red rock sticking out the sands was affectionately known as Buluru, as most people mistook it for Uluru. My head was filled with Close Encounters of the Third Kind, where Richard Dreyfuss was ‘losing it’ over a shape in his head that he has trying to recreate. The sky was blue and it was Hot, very Hot with an amazingly low humidity that drained you of water. You needed a hat, you need sunglasses, you needed a fly net around your face as the flies wanted your body water and you needed water if out for 15 minutes …oh and lots of suncream. This was a holiday and we were enjoying ourselves, honestly.

Mel guided us to a vantage point at Buluru across the main road which was void of traffic and you could look in either direction at the straight white lines for a very long way. Reminds me of Aki’s introduction story of walking in a remote area and lying down in the road to look at the stars with her friend. Unfortunately she fell asleep until an oncoming vehicle woke her up. To one side of the Red sand dune was Buluru away into the distance and the other direction was a Salt Lake. This would not be the place to get lost. To think that the area was once an inland sea is incredible.

We made our way to the second camp site at Uluru. It used to be called Ayres Rock but as the land has been given back to the Aboriginal People it has reverted to its time honoured name and now it is politically incorrect to use the settlers name for it. Time for a few snacks at the store before we head into the campsite, but Chicken Burgers on the barbie for lunch, which went down very well. The afternoon was dedicated to Uluru. The walk around Uluru was 10 kilometres in 2 hours of blistering heat and dry humidity or 2 hours to do half of it. I went for the shorter option as I favoured a stroll with photo opportunities rather than the extra endurance test. I was surprised I was the only one doing the half, but I was dropped at the far side of Uluru rock and had a very peaceful walk at my own pace and on my own.

This is the land of the Anangu People.

The flies were a real nuisance and the hat netting blocked your view. I don’t know how many I ate. Every camera shot was a bind (net up, flies in, brush flies away, sunglasses off, flies in, brush flies away, click, sunglasses on, flies in, brush flies off, net down, fly inside net, net off, flies in, brush off, net down…simple really), but I did take lots of photographs. It was surprisingly green around the rock, so there must be underground water to supply the roots. When you come across one of the many Gum Trees, they have a beautiful smooth silver bark and with the drooping leaves against the blue sky and red rock, made you want to take lots of photo’s. I promise the people back home that they will not be subjected to evenings of the same photo’s. I did subject the family to 200 slides of Austrian Mountains and Waterfalls back in the late 80’s. My belated apologies.

One very strange bit of the walk was when I arrived to a small waterhole which had the mythical story attached to the rocks formation and as I was reading some low height information boards about the story, a soft aboriginal chanting started in the background. It really felt like it was in my head and not coming out of a speaker. Made me look around and then laugh to myself.

As I was reaching the final stretch of my half walk, Max and Anna passed me in true youthful spirit, having completed 5 Kms more.

The final bit of the Uluru tour was an explanation and short walk back to parts of the Rock where the Aborginal people had made their markings on the walls. Although feint against the red and white rocks, it was something that I had wanted to see. In addition to this the Aboriginal ‘countries’ around Australia are also famous for their dot paintings. The paintings each tell a story or part of a story about their life and culture. From those of you that follow my Tweets and some of my earlier posts, I have an interest in how we learn, we behave and how we bring values into our culture. The paintings on walls of caves and on canvas are the Aboriginal way of getting their culture across. Where do you get water?, how do people get on together?, what is the right way to behave? Each painting is unique to their way of life and although we as non-Aboriginal backgrounds will never be able to fully understand their meaning it is fascinating all the same. The local law is the Tjukurpa and it is something that we could try to emulate better in our society. Of course there are indigenous people that operate outside of the rules, but they are not regarded as part of the true Aboriginal people.

Off to a vantage point for the setting of the sun on the rock. We were quite early and took a point close to the front to view the changing colour of the rock and the amazing skylines. Of course there was also the opportunity for the younger ones in the party to ‘jump over the rock’. The photo’s will explain.

The tourists arrived in their masses, some wined and dined with champagne and dressed up to the nines, others like us just savouring with a few nibbles and a beer. The sun went down and we all disappeared.

We raced back to the campsite for showers and then a barbecue meal. The meat for the barbecue was Kangaroo, Camel Sausages and Beef Steak. All the things that you get out here in the land in between Alice Springs and Uluru. Mel was the chef prepared heaps of meat for us and it went down well with a plate of salad and fresh coleslaw. The Kangaroo had been marinating in a sweet sauce and was a cross between beef and pork to taste. The Camel sausages were firm and meaty, akin to a thick cumberland sausage and the beef steak was, well, beef steak. This had been another long day and although we sat around the camp fire for about an hour, everyone was thinking about their swags and getting to bed. With another early wake up of 4.50am and on the road in 30 minutes having had breakfast and cleaned up camp, bed called and everyone answered.

The night was a bit colder, but made for a good nights sleep, however short it was.

Rise, wash, breakfast, clean, on the road. I think the group nailed this, even though there was very little conversation as everyone was still asleep. We headed up to a viewing point at Kata Tjuta, which from a man made walkway through the brush you could see Uluru Rock way out but close to the point of where the sun would rise and to the left of us Kata Tjuta a range of 36 rounded rocks that would be slowly lit up by the sun. Kata Tjuta would be our final walk for the tour.

Click, Click, Click. I must have taken 50 photos of the sunrise alone as the skies changed from a cold sky blue to orange, red and white and then the sun was up and the rocks turned their red lights on too.

Jerry wailed to the group to get back on the bus as it would give us a head start on the walk before all the other tourists. It was a good plan, as the more isolated you are in this region the more beautiful it looks.

This time I voted for the longer circuitous route of the rock, which would make its way up and down before entering an area between two of the highest rocks in Kata Tjuta and climbing steeply to a ‘saddle’ between the stones. The photos will give you a sense of the walk. The rocks do not rise that high compared to the Mountains and Hills that we have in Europe, but in a flat land, they do give a nice panorama.

A highlight was spotting a Euro Kangaroo with its joey. About 75 yards away but a little photo opportunity. At least I got to see it bounce off. There are supposed to be millions of Kangaroo’s but not many of my travelling companions had seen them. Alex had been travelling across Australia since February and had only seen 3. So in 48 hours, I had seen one in captivity, seen a dead one, seen a live bouncing one and eaten one. A good compromise I think.

We had the group photograph at the top which I will find a way of posting on an update to the blog and then made our way down. One last vantage point to capture the Kata Tjuta and we were back on the bus. Everyone was tired and looked for anyway possible to rest their heads for a journey back to Alice Springs. A first pit stop for supplies brought a welcomed ice cream and a cold lemon drink as we refuelled for the massive drive back. The sun was already heating up the bus, so getting back on the road with the air conditioning was the best bet. A further food stop to eat the sandwiches that we had prepared at 5am this morning, but most people were finding it harder to eat. When you are tired you just want to have a slurp of drink then sleep.

So the final leg and the music requests were made. I wasn’t shy in offering my anthem, you’ve got it, Ellis Paul’s “The World Ain’t Slowin’ Down”, duly played, which was a nice end to my trip and I hope I didn’t bore everyone else. Jerry and Mel joined in with my sabbatical with arm waving fashion as I took a video clip of the bus as the song was being played. Thanks to everyone for that moment. I am not sure they would know what it meant to me.

The Kilometres just flew by and we were in Alice around 5pm.

This was an excellent few days that was brilliantly executed by Jerry and Mel of Adventure Tours. I met some lovely people on the bus. My lasting memories are with Aki who was one of the funniest and genuine people I have met, Erme and Martin who although did not speak much English joined in with everything with a smile and when we pit stopped, with a Coffee (very Austrian), Max who was the ‘go do it man’ with German enthusiasm (I will remember his poor execution at breaking a fire log on day one and breaking his big toe), delightful Lenka and Mum Dana. Lenka was translating all the time for her mother (my boys back home to note how to look after dad when he doesn’t hear something!), Alex and Melanie who I think noticed we were there but had eyes for each other. Alex had a very quick wit. Young Red Headed Hannah, who coughed and blew for 3 days and complained of everyone snoring! Samia, our cute little French girl with a husky voice, and the bouncy and irrepressible Anna from Italy. If someone had to be out at the front it was Anna, who smiled from start to finish of the trip. And last but not least ‘Young’ Scott who looked as though he was just out of high school and charming Gemma, a delightful couple from South Manchester. They acted exactly as a married couple should (even though they aren’t) which was great fun for the rest of us and a pleasure to be around.

And I can’t end without a final comment for Mel and Jerry. Mel was so polite and didn’t whip us as much as she should, which was nice for us. And Jerry. You need something or someone on a trip to forget that you have travelled 1500 Kilometres. The button was on full volume for 3 days and her humour was spot on. I’ll echo my thoughts again, a really enjoyable trip to the Outback with lots of memories.