The morning sunshine had already appeared as we descended into Kochi Airport. The humid heat hit me like a vindaloo as I stepped off the plane, but it was nice to walk just 50 yards from the plane to the arrivals hall. Heathrow take note, I was in a taxi within 10 minutes of landing after having pulled my luggage from the belt.
Kochi is a big city, but characteristic of a relaxed India that I think I am going to find all around here. I think I used the word ‘relaxed’ too liberally there, let’s get straight into the taxi ride.
Can I first apologise to the expert drivers of the Stratford Road in Birmingham for my jaundice view of driving standards and can I also pay tribute to the Spitfire pilots of the Battle of Britain who kept the skies clear of evil, especially the ones who made it home.
How long will the journey take I asked the Prepayment Taxi clerk at the airport. “About 45 minutes” said the clerk, but also rotated their head back and forth like it was on a spring. Not sure if that was a nod or a shake of the head, but they were smiling which I guess was a positive sign. The driver was 20 feet away and ready. Not much English spoken but I showed him the address, packed my bags into the Corsa-sized limo and we were off. 3 things I noted.
- He advised me to put my seat belt on,
- He had a bonsai like plant growing on his dash board on what looked like a make shift oasis, and
- There were two brass shrines gods and a picture of a lady behind the ‘desert island’. I was tempted by the usual taxi chat, but I think he may have been offended if I had asked if the Old Lady was his mother and it turned out to be his betrothed wife. I am learning…just keep your mouth shut.
It was number 1 where I would like to focus. What goes on tour stays on tour?… No, if there is a road to perdition I think the Kochi Airport Road is it. In the next 2 hours, we had about 50 near-misses and I think I saw about 2000 road violations that would have been straight 10-pointers at home. Not sure if cows and goats can be indicted, but they weren’t blameless either. There must have been some kind of order, like, generally they do drive on the left, press your horn when you are coming through, avoid hitting something and importantly don’t look back! We had gone 50 yards before my Sphincter had closed deep-dive water tight. My driver on a narrow road beeped and overtook 2 cars and a lorry, while the lorry was moving past a motor cycle. With a car coming in the other direction my man looked confident, then BEEP BEEP, bandit at 5 o’clock overtook us and all other things. Phew, I thought, you don’t see many of those events thank god. Now play that out for 2 hours across the main ways and side roads into Fort Kochi. My acknowledgement of the WW2 fighter pilots in the way that you need to be able to attack but avoid at all times. This taxi cost about £11.50, so I gave him a tip of £4 and wished him good luck on the way back.
Checked-in at the Old Lighthouse Bristow Hotel, a colonial style building backing onto the beach and the Indian Ocean. A nice welcome from the staff and into my stately room. It really is an awesome room with a large dining balcony. The dark wooden polished floors reminded me of the Maldives. Particularly the part when I slipped on the shiny stairs and almost broke my knee. How Sue and I laughed about that one.
The room has a large 4 poster bed with mosquito net curtains to all sides, not on top though, so mosquitos cant be that clever. We’ll see.
I was jet lagged so had an afternoon siesta. By the time I made lunch, everyone had left the hacienda type restaurant, but the staff just circled to make me feel important. Chef just asked me what I would like and he would do it, so ended up with a Kerala Fish dish and a curry. The Fish, I will get a name for it, was in heavy hot spices wrapped in banana leaves and then grilled and he prepared a Fish Curry too, to give me a bit of ‘gravy’. All served with Lemon rice and washed down with a Kingfisher beer. There was a nice breeze coming off the sea, which reduced the heat somewhat. Excellent food and a nice way to see saturday afternoon out.
This bit of Kochi is the west side of the main estuary. Big ships roll in and out every hour or so. The small beach stretches from a rocky pier on one side to a rickety fence on the left. The fence recently put there by the India Navy and with it commandeering the coastline going down towards the tip of India. This is modern day stuff. 3 naval staff observe the dotted line and nobody is allow to pass that bit of the Defence Land or Sea. But you know, it isn’t off putting at all. the waiter said that they tested their guns last week, so if I am lucky…surprisingly the beach is littered with plastic bottles, some from the oceans churn some from the locals, but it doesn’t detract from this being a tropical idyllic place and it is really is relaxing and it’s different. Fishermen are casting their big nets into the shallows, locals are walking up and down the surf and large Gekko’s are posing on the low perimeter wall of the hotel. Leafy trees cast a shadow over the terraces of the hotel.
Dinner was another Fish Curry. Every 5 minutes I glanced at the Villa v QPR score. I knew Jon and Tom were in the stands and it was a sort of way of being part of it. A band played 80’s music on the hotel terrace and the night closed in. Day One in Kerala over.
Dave's Sabbatical 